Dear R..o..
I miss you, a lot. You were just six (6) days old when you had to leave and I was a mute spectator. You are an over year now and growing fast. Privilege of being with you when you started walking, uttering words, recognizing loved ones and much more was snatched from me. But now as and when I see you walking in corridors from far away it is like a trained Kathak dancer walking. When I hear your screams echoing from far away they are like soothing music to my ears. You are a ray of hope in my life which gives me energy to take it to conclusion the way things are. Before you came in my life most of my friends had children above age 10 and I lost all hope of ever becoming a father. And then you came and fulfilled so many of my dreams. You are my reflection baptized -R…o..- name I thought in my college days. I would always be your proud”Pappa” and it is as true a fact as existence of universe.
The happenings of day you were born to next five (5) days you were with me are engraved in my memory forever and I can replay them anytime.Those six (6) days are as essential to me as rain to desert, sun to solar system and earth’s magnetic waves to birds. I regularly go through photos and videos of you to stop my craving of kissing you on your cheeks, playing with you and showering you with my love. Technology is a savior otherwise it would have been really tough without you.
I often think of society we live in. A father’s love for child is taken for granted. It is regularly pitched against mother’s love and it looses more often than not. It is unwritten law a father is not made to raise children and his duties are restricted to only of protector and preserver. I want to raise you and prove perception of society wrong, say proudly to my friends it is tough to raise a child, be awake whole night for you, stroll holding you in my arms and make milk for you when you cry communicating your hunger. But then often I think given the bias of society and system, I have already lost the battle of being with you and six (6) days I spent with you is a slice I would get from your life.
In few days from now I have to prove my love for you. That would be the only way to be able to hold you in my arms. Though it is beyond my comprehension how can a sacred emotion like love be proven? I have a tsunami of emotions within me right now and I don’t see any means to subside it. I don’t know how am I going to complete the herculean task I have at my hands? But I only know whatever may be the outcome I would not leave a single stone unturned to make my case of being a proud “Pappa” of yours.
O’ my little sunshine, if you ever read this blog, my advise to you would be never make your case of progress on someone else’s fall or misery. Live a life of dignity and be a law-abiding citizen. Stay independent but always respect elders. Above all learn to compromise but not at the cost of your self-respect.
A proud “Pappa”
